A Day in the Life: Customer Service Volume 58

Alright, I know that I have had my new job now for a while, but this is the last one of this series - enjoy, its a good one :-)

So at the end of calls we have to ask the customer if they know someone that would want to have a free trial of our newspaper.

Customer: "Yeah, how about mitt romney"

Me: I laughed, and thinking, oh yeah, I'm going to get this guy... "Oh yeah if you have his address?" 

Customer: "Actually I do.. I already sent one to Ryan"

So I am stunned...

Shocked...

Laughing...

Then he puts me on hold and comes back on the line.

Customer: "Oh yeah here is the file..." and is now rummaging through papers

Customer: "Yeah, you know, the problem now is that he is always traveling..."

Me: "Yes, very good point."

Customer: After a few more seconds of rummaging through paperwork he says: "Oh yeah this isn't it, I'll have to call you back..."

  

Anywhosit

I hope you enjoyed my series of weird customer service calls.

With this one, I would like to bring this chapter of my life to a close...

Finally...

:-)

A Day in the Life: Customer Service Volume 57

Part of my job requires my coworkers to transfer calls to my department - if the customer is having technical difficulty or if the customer has an education question that the agent is unable to answer.

My buddy, the woman I sit next to, she had transferred the call to my queue and so I picked it up.
She warned me about the customer, that he was being a bit hostile and then told me his issue.

I pick up the call.
Me: Good Morning, Sir? My name is La Tache, <insert my coworkers name> told me you were having trouble opening a link on our website.
Customer: I didn't catch your name, because it foreign.

He had so much disdain and hatred in his voice.
I was about to retort back with a response, but he kept talking and I didn't want to interrupt him since he was clearly upset and I didn't want to set him off any more than he already was.

I decided to 'Kill him with Kindness' and I helped him through the steps to fix his problem, and when it was resolved, I asked him if there was anything else I could assist him with.

Customer: Yeah, every time I call, I talk to someone foreign
I couldn't let him keep saying that, so I interrupted him
Me: Sir, I am not foreign, no one in our office is foreign. We live in Los Angeles, CA

He would not drop it!
Finally, I asked him if there was anything else I could do for him, since I wasn't getting through to this crazy that we are located in LA and that we are not foreign, so he should shut up already ;-)

He then kept me on the phone for over an hour, trying to come up with other things to talk to me about.
Needless to say it was a frustrating call.

<fortunately, as you now read this...I am in my new position! yahoooo!!>

A Day in the Life: Customer Service Volume 52

I have recently come to realize that I have a crazy name...

Ok, I have always knows..

Well, I realized it in college..

Ok, tangent..

The fact that I have a hard to pronounce/understand/hear/say/spell name is very prevalent right now because I am in Customer Service and am constantly saying my name and everyone is constantly mispronouncing it or giving me new names...

I just got this one:

Me: This is La Tache, how can I help you?

Customer: What was that? I didn't get that?

Me: Laaaa Taache

Customer: La Tache? Ugh, You guys these days with these names

What?

What is that supposed to mean?

Sheesh!

A Day in the Life: Customer Service Volume 51

Me: This is La Tache, how can I help you?

Customer: I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name.

Me: Laaaaaa Taaachhhee

Customer: Oh, well they left the "a" of it!?

Me: ....?

Customer: I usually hear that name Latosha (Or however you spell it! I wouldn't know because it isn't my name!)

Are you for real?
Sheesh...

A Day in the Life: Education Services Day 9

A customer wasn't able to get signed in to his account, so our automatic system sent him an email with a temporary password. He emailed us to let us know that it wasn't working, so I reset the password to 123 and then explained to him how to change the password once he signed in.

This is the reply I got:

"Thanks for the 123, since you think I am such a idiot, but your "svk30471" pass word did not work. "

<Speechless>

Yes that is what I said...{insert air quotes} "you're an idiot..."

Why on earth would you go there?

Ugh..people..

Sheesh...

A Day in the Life: Customer Service Volume 50

Real People, Real Emails...

Subject: an important question

Message: i have an important question that im trying to get answered so that ill know what my options are.

......?

What is your question.....?

LOL

(and I only "LOL" when something is really funny!)

A Day in the Life: Customer Service Volume 49 (UNedited)

Real People, Real Emails..

If you are offended by strong language, please do not read this post...

"Subject: Your fucked up web site. 

Message:What the fuck is up with your fucked up web site?  I have more fucking trouble with the stocks on the move screen than any other area on your site.  Often when I click on the green or red arrows there is no fucking response. Or, it takes a mother fucking long time to show the results.  IS your sitefucking overwhelmed?????

Also, your site is fucking slow to respond to cliks in various areas. Get your fucking act together. Vector Vest does not have this problem.  

I am utilizing a new computer and high speed internet via Comcast.  So, the fucking problem is not me. 

Sincerely,

A fucking pissed off cutomer who is going to suspend his subscriptions."

Either (A) you just learned this word and are over excited about using it or (B) you don't know any other words!

Do you talk to you mother with that mouth?!

And if you are writing emails like this/think you can talk to our agents like this then we would rather not have you as a subscriber, so you threatening your subscription status doesn't work... FYI

A Day in the Life: Customer Service Volume 48

Real People, Real Emails...

"Why Can't You Provide Service to East Coast Customers as you do For West Coast?

I've been awake since 4:00am waiting for my paper. This is the second day of my subscription and I have no paper. The deliverer has arrived and left my wife's Wall Street Journal w/o my IBD. You don't open for another 3+ hours for me to make the problem known. If you provided East Coast customers with the same courtesies I could have you remedy the problem before the deliverer left the planet. By the time your office comes online my chance of reading my paper today is zilch.

This tends to happen with the paper A LOT. I was assured it changed when I switched from electronic version to paper delivery.

Adding another paper 365 days from now is easy for you to say but what about today? I can't even get into the electronic edition without paying a higher premium!"

Pretty sure you are being a little bit dramatic...

A Day in the Life: Customer Service Volume 47

Real People, Real Emails

"By not offering phone subscription services throughout the night...you are showing why trickle-down economics can never work. You can staff your subscription services throughout the day, night and weekend with a very small staff to resolve after-hours problems quickly."

It is easier said than done, buddy!

Are you serious?

Yes, lets stay open all night for 1 customer to call us...

You're ridiculous

A Day in the Life: Customer Service Volume 46

Real People, Real Emails...

"I am helping a friend and he was under the impression that you offered dial up to those who get your daily newspaper. Is this true or does he have to get it from somewhere else"

We area financial news paper...not an internet service...

Do you know who you are emailing?

A Day in the Life: Customer Service Volume 45

I just spent 45 minutes with this guy and at the end of the call her asks: "Whats your name again?" 

I respond with: "La Tache" 

Customer: "Can I call you Sam?"

......?

I guess there is a first for everything...

A Day in the Life: Customer Service Volume 44

Here is another name silliness!

Customer: Ok Lakeisha, is it Lakeisha?

Me: No, La Tache

Customer: Oh, OK, will you spell it?

So I spell it, he repeats each letter- so I assume he is writing it down... (and he even asked: is it a capital "T"?)

After I finished spelling it, he says: Alright, Lakeisha...

Me: NO LA TACHE

Customer: Oh, is that how you would say it phonetically?

Me: Well that is how you say it...?

Oh boy, people are so silly!

I am always getting picked on...

So, I have this theory that complete strangers think of me as a target to be totally inappropriate, for no reason!

See here

I will be minding my own business then all of a sudden, out of nowhere, BAM! I become a target and it just spirals out of control. And while I am totally stunned with my mouth on the floor, I can't do anything to stand up for myself.

Sooo, I have decided to pick my mouth up off the ground and start being sassy back!

If you think you can be weird with me...think again! 

No more, Mrs. Nice Gal

Bring it on!

Ok, lets be real, I am all talk...everything will be a surprise and I will be just as shocked every time

Alright..

Now for the back story..

When we were waiting for our dinner table, we were walking around and doing some browsing/window shopping.

We were in Barnes & Nobel when this older lady came up to me:

Stranger: I was just admiring your dress, it is beautiful! Where did you get it?

Me: (Ok, that was nice enough...) I got it at Nordsrom Rack, I love it!

Stranger: Yes, it is beautiful. Are you wearing a bra with it?

Me: (Uhhh...Kinda weird... but I will entertain...) Actually, I am not. I don't need to, it's tight enough on top.

Stranger: Oh ok, yeah I am small up there too...

Me: (I'M INSULTED!) Yeah, ok...

What?!

Why, on God's Green Earth, would someone say that?!

Looking for something to say? 

You end the conversation with, "Ok, well it's beautiful"

Not an insult!

haha!

A Day in the Life: Education Services Day 7

I worked at a summit (a free workshop) last weekend and came in contact with some interesting experiences...

Do you know what ComCon is?

Ok, so imagine what DomCon is....

Yes, you guessed it...

A Dominatrix Expo...

Yes, at the same hotel we had our summit...

Yes, on the same day...

Yes, at the same time...

I almost died!

Imagine going to a professional work event and having people walking around you in Leather, with fishnets and platform boots carrying whips...and asking you where their seminar was...

wow...

A Day in the Life: Education Services Day 5

So, as you know I work for a newspaper. We have 5-day a week subscriptions and we have 1-day a week subscriptions.

The 1-Day a week subscription is for the Monday paper and it is delivered the Saturday before. (i.e. Monday 4/16 paper was delivered to customers on 4/14 -- most of the time and depending on their delivery route, Saturday is the earliest it would be delivered.

Now, in my new position I process email complaints about people missing papers etc.

Someone submitted a complaint that they missed the Friday, April 13 issue. I looked up his account and found that he is a 1-day a week subscriber, which means he, of course, missed the paper because, well he only gets the Monday paper.

I responded to his email and told him that we couldn't process his request because he is a Monday Special Subscriber only and this is the response I got (verbatim)

"The Monday special edition comes out on Friday night and is delivered on Saturday. Are you brain-dead? Change the request and give me credit for the Monday edition, please. "

WHAT?

Am I brain dead?

Really?

THAT was unnecessary!

I had to wait a moment, or 10 before I could reply to his email to make sure that I didn't get myself fired.

How rude!

A Day in the Life: Customer Service Volume 34

Customer: I'm on the website, and it says that I need to sign in to access?

Me: Did you log in?

Customer: No.

Me: If it is telling you to sign in, you need to sign in.

Customer: Oh, ok. Well I am always already signed in?

Me: I understand, I am not sure what happened on your computer, but all you need to do is sign in.

Customer: oh, oh! Thanks for your help!

So, you are telling me that you waited on hold for 8 minutes for me to tell you to do something that the computer actually told you to before you called me?

And you didn't even troubleshoot?

Sheesh!

Day in the Life: Customer Service Volume 31

I get all kinds of crazy calls...

This, by far, is the craziest I have ever experienced!

This customers wife called me. 

She told me that her husband just subscribed on Friday

He got his first paper and she told me that he had a nervous breakdown over the paper...

She said he didn’t understand the content of the paper and he started to say that he didn’t know how he graduated college etc. 

She proceeded to tell me that he is in the hospital on a 72 hour hold because he, basically, went bazerk over our paper!

What?!

I told the customer's wife what the refund would be on the account and she asked me how many papers she is paying for.

I answered her question and told her that we couldn’t stop the paper until Thursdays edition, that is how our system works, and she flipped!

Customer: Oh my gosh, I don’t want him to see it in the trash when he gets home… Is there anything you can do? He asked me to cancel it  {blah blah blah}

I told her that I could send a request to the carrier to ask them to stop delivery ASAP, but I couldn't guarantee it

WHAT?!

Apparently our paper drives people insane?!

And their wives, too?

Oh. Boy.

!

A Day in the Life: Customer Service Volume 25

Our papers come out with the information from the market close from the day before.

i.e The paper dated for Monday is the information from the markets close on Friday, Tuesday is the info from the market close on Monday etc.

A woman just called to let us know that she didn't get the Tuesday paper.

I asked her if she got a paper on Saturday and she told me that she had.

I explained that since Monday was a holiday, we didn't print a paper with Mondays date, so the Tuesday paper took place of the Monday paper and was delivered on Saturday.

Customer: I don't understand...

Me: What don't you understand?

Customer: How can you predict that far in advance?

Me: What do you mean?

Customer: How do you predict what is going to happen so far in advance; when the paper is printed on Friday for Tuesday?

Me: Ma'am, we don't predict anything.. {and then I went into the whole schpeal above}

The best part about this whole thing is that the customer has been a subscriber since 2008 and is currently on a 3 year subscription!

So this whole time she has just thought was were crystal ball readers of the future..

...how cool would that be...

Check out my giveaway!

A Day in the Life: Customer Service Volume 20

I spoke to the most ridiculous, the craziest, the most loony, the oddest, the most off of the wall woman of my entire time working here...

For purposes of this story I am going to make up a name for the subscriber - I apologize if it is in any way offensive to your name - I am purely making this up

I answered the phone and the customer had put in her account number or her phone number so it came up on the screen and I did not have to ask her for her last name and zip code.

Info you need before you read the story:

personal info has been changed

First Name on Account: P. Q.

Last Name on Account: SMITH-SMALL

The customer had a 2 week complimentary trial subscription that expired 3 weeks ago

after the greetings

Customer: I got an offer in the mail and I am looking at it right now.

Me: Ok, great, would you like to renew with us?

Customer: Well, first, my name is spelled wrong.Will you read to me what you have?

Me: I have: P. Q. S. M. I. T. H. S. M. A. L. L.

Customer: What is capitalized? 

Me: They are all capitalized. Our system writes everything in caps. How is it spelled on the offer?

Customer: The "S" in "Small" is not capitalized

Me: Um....ok....

Customer: This needs to be fixed. It has never been a problem before and I want to know who prints for you.

Me: Sure, hold on a second {So, I put her on hold and asked my buddy her question}

Me: Ma'am, thank you for holding, it is an outside source.

Customer: Well, this needs to be fixed.

Me: Ok, I will put a note in your account, but it is an outside company and I see that it is capitalized

Customer: What are you write, exactly, in my account so I can put it in my files

Me: That the "S" needs to be capitalized.

Customer: Which "S" {insert condescending tone}

Me: The "S" in "Small"

Customer: Ok, if I get any more notices and the "S" isn't capitalized, I will be forced to take my name out of your system and not get any more notices from you

Me: Would you like me to take you out of our system now?

Customer: No, only if this problem isn't corrected

Me: Ok...

and then the typical end of call chatter...

....

what??

Like, is this lady for real?

Oh my goodness...

A Day in the Life: Customer Service Volume 17

Sometimes people are just crazy in their heads....

Me: {Introduce myself and company}

Customer: "Why am i getting this paper? who sent it?"

Me: "Does it say {Newspaper Title}?"

Customer: "Yes"

So I asked her for her last name

Customer "Why do you want that?"

I explained that we look up accounts by last name and zip code

Customer: "Well I can tell you we dont have a subscription with you"

Me: "It could be a trial"

Customer: "Well this is a Communist paper"

Me: "Um....ok....?"

Customer: "I better not get this anymore" 

And then she hung up

Well, I can't promise you won't ever get it again if I have none of your information!

This is a Financial Publication....the farthest from a Communist Publication...

Oh man....