The One Where I Showed Up Tipsy

I had a first date with this guy and before the date a coworker asked me to grab drinks. After some arguing and telling my coworker 'no,' I finally caved and we walked across the street and grabbed a drink, well...um...3. Yeah, oops. I showed up to the date visibly buzzed, was totally 'on' and talking a million miles a minute. Needless to say, he told me he had plans and we parted ways. Neither of us has reached out to the other again. ha. oops, that was a my bad.

The Jerky Message Guy

Oh! Do I now?! Should I also post one of me naked, too? Thanks for the online dating tip, dude, let me get right on that.  What is wrong with people? 

The One with the Anniversary

Can you believe that it is already the early part of May? I cannot. This year, 2015, has literally flown by and I cannot even comprehend where the time has gone. 
Yesterday marked one year from when the Ex (have I mentioned that I am not saying his name? Well, tangent - I have decided that I don't want to use his name, in print or in conversation, because when/if I do, I want to talk about experiences that we shared. I have been doing so well in talking about trips and adventures as just me, not we, which has been hard to come by. So that is why I don't speak {or type} his name) came home and told me that he wasn't sure if he wanted to be married to me anymore. 
I cannot even begin to describe the devastation that hit me, the confusion that overwhelmed me, the hurt that consumed me. I remember how vulnerable I was, how poorly I treated myself because I didn't understand my role in the entire process and how confused I felt.
In the weeks leading up to this year anniversary, I have reflected, reflected hard, about the woman I was a year ago, the woman I am today and the woman I aspire to be in the future. I have taken control and I am living the life that I want to live without regrets all while putting myself first.
If I met one-year-ago-La Tache today, I would give her a hug and tell her to hold on for dear life to those who care most about her. I would tell her that she is going to be okay, that she is going to come out on top, that she is going to make it through. I would tell her to hang in there when life takes many turns for the worst, to take good care of herself through all of this and that none of this could have been stopped and this isn't her fault. I would try to convince her that people change, and that it's okay to change and I would encourage her to take a good, long look in the mirror and see her faults as places to improve. I would remind her that she is worth something, that she deserves the world and to never accept anything less. 
In the last year, I have learned a lot about myself, about what I want and what I have to offer. I have learned to be cautious and to listen to red flags. I have learned how to have unrestricted fun, to try new things and how to accept people for who they are and not to judge others too harshly (I mean, don't get me wrong...I still judge, but in a different way...is that even a thing? anyway...) Ultimately, I have learned how to love myself, how to take care of myself and how to live for myself. I have learned how to be selfish, in a productive way. Saying that you are selfish can have such a negative connotation, and it shouldn't. We all need our "me" time and we have to listen to ourselves and our needs. And when you are with someone when you are a young and still growing into an adult, it is easy to forget that you are your own person with your own needs. I think that that happened to me, to us. We met when I was 20 and were married when I was 23, that is so young (not to say that it can't work, that it is a bad thing or people can't grow together at that age). I know for myself, that I was not the person I am today, and it's for the better.
This has been the most challenging, amazing, difficult, fun, stressful and wonderful years of my life. I am blessed to be surrounded by wonderful people, to have a great job and to be healthy - mentally and physically. I would wish for different experience and would not trade what I have learned for the world. Cheers to another great year - and hopefully a less eventful one :-) And I will leave you all with my new theme song:

The First-Dating-App Guy

I went on a few dates with the first guy to message me on one of the dating apps that I use. It was fun. He was nice, had a nice smile and made me laugh. Spoiler alert, it didn't last, the whole thing just sort of fizzled out. I think that it made him a little uncomfortable knowing that I had been married before. Whatever, pansy.  Anyway, he kissed me on the second date outside of the bar we had drinks and ate at. It was hilarious and totally memorable because there was a homeless person, to our surprise, who was watching us and decided to serenade us. It was hilarious and magical and weird, all at the same time. Too bad it didn't work out because that's a funny story.

The Catchy-Message Guy

I had to read this more than once. I was with my girlfriend and her response would have been: Cheese. Apples. You. Things I want to cut with a knife.
I almost died from laughter.
When your profile picture is of you making a weird kissy-face, I think it is implied that I am not going to respond. HA!

Melissa is getting hitched!

My sweet friend Melissa is getting married at the end of May and this past weekend a few of her closest friends got together to celebrate her Bachelorette Party. We had such a blast and the bride felt loved and showered by all of the ladies who matter most to her! 

Friday night, the lovely Melissa from Real Nutritious Living arrived into San Francisco a bit early, so I was able to get some time with her before all of the festivities began on Saturday. It was so nice to catch up and chat and eat delicious sushi at Okoze on Union and Hyde. Yum! 

Saturday, I got up and ran some errands, went to the gym and met one of the Bride's friends at the hotel, Baldwin Hotel, to drop off all of our stuff. The hotel was fine and what made it great was the location. It is a short walk to Union Square and there are tons of restaurants and bars around the hotel. I would recommend it if you are looking for a great location hotel without paying the pricey rates. She and I headed over to West Portal to meet the bride and two other bridesmaids for lunch at El Toreador. This restaurant is one of our favorite places from when we were in college, so we had to eat there. One of the BMs and I went back to the hotel after lunch to decorate and get everything set up at the hotel. 

The bride arrived and we had some yummy cocktails and snacks while she opened her lingerie presents. She definitely got lots of great items! We finished out homemade cocktails (I made a version of Sex on the Beach (vodka, cranberry, sparking oj and peach juice - I couldn't find peach schnapps!)) And we walked over to the restaurant, Puccini & Pinetti. I had coordinated a special pre-fixe menu for the 6 of us. We brought our own wine and champagne and laughed the entire dinner, it was wonderful! 

After dinner we headed over to see a theater show and then back to our hotel. We were looking for a wine bar of sorts along the way, but it was pretty late so a lot was closed. We decided to head back to the hotel and chat wedding and, you know, girly stuff.

It was such a fun weekend to be spent with such beautiful souls! Can't wait to celebrate the bride and groom at the end of May!

On LASIK

I am just under 3 weeks after having LASIK done and it was one of the best decisions I have ever made. 
At the end of March I made a decision, that was pushed a bit by my boss, to finally get a consultation to find out if I was a good candidate for LASIK. I consulted facebook and was referred by a friend to the Pacific Vision Institute in San Francisco. I had my consultation on a Thursday morning, found out that I was a good candidate for LASIK and scheduled my procedure for the following Wednesday morning. To prepare for the procedure, you are not allowed to wear your contacts because your contacts have an effect on the shape of your eye. So, I stopped wearing my contacts and rocked my glasses for a week - an easy thing to do in the name of LASIK.
I scheduled a pre-op appointment for the day before the procedure where they take all of your eye measurements and send you on your way to buy some prescription drops (why you have to buy the drops on top of paying for the whole thing is beyond me, but oh well). I stopped at the pharmacy and bought the drops and headed into work.
On Wednesday, procedure day, they told me to arrive about 30 minutes early to my appointment. When I arrived they handed me a relaxing drug and brought me into the exam room to pump 350 million drops into my eye, one (or a combination of a few) is to numb your eye. They have you sit in the room with your eyes closed, take some more measurements and then put more drops in your eye and then bring you into the operating operating room. The first room is where they cut the flap open to expose your cornea. Here is where the most discomfort, for me, was felt. There seemed to be a lot of pressure on my eye, but there was no pain. This lasts for about 30 seconds on each eye. After this the doctor has you close your eyes and then you are walked into a second operating room where they actually perform the reshapping of the cornea. This lasts for under 10 seconds per eye and then you can see. You have to look directly at the laser, which can be hard, but it isn't uncomfortable. 
When the doctor was done with both eyes I looked up at her and said: "I can't believe I just did that." And then was moved into the waiting room for my mom to pick me up and take me home. You aren't allowed to drive because of the medication they give you to relax. While you wait, they put these eye guards to cover your eyes and give you dark sunglasses and you are required to keep your eyes closed for 4 hours. My mom picked me up and took me back to her house where I had my eyes closed and rested. 

4 hours later, I had to have my mom help me take the eye guards off because they tape them to your face - removing those was more painful than the actual LASIK procedure! Anyway, you take off the protective wear and have to put drops in your eyes, before you put the drops in, you have to get your eyes open, which is also very hard because your eyelashes will be glued shut - and you aren't allowed to get water or sweat in your eyes for the first week and you're not allowed to rub your eyes for the first month after the procedure. You then have to wear the eye protectors for a week (give or take) after the procedure while you sleep, which is also very painful because you have to tape them to your face, it is also sticky. ha
After the first time I opened my eyes after the 4 hour period, I could see. It was absolutely unreal. The day after the procedure I had a post-op appointment where they take a look to make sure everything is healing properly and they do an eye exam - I was seeing 20/15 the day after my procedure. Better than 20/20 within 24 hours. It was amazing.
Now just under three weeks later, I am happier than ever. The vain part of me is having a hard time though because I haven't worn eye makeup since the procedure. Which is hard because I feel like I look like I am 14 years old. It is required to not wear makeup for a week after the procedure, so I could wear it, but I am not allowed to rub my eyes for a month after the procedure and so I don't know how I would get mascara off! So, I figure I won't bother with it. It is pretty interesting to go on dates and not be wearing makeup...ha!
Anyway, moral of this freaking long post: if you have been considering LASIK put on your big kid pants and do it! It has truly changed my life for the better! And if you go to the Pacific Vision Institute, mention that I referred you and you will get a referral discount and I will get a referral bonus! ;-)

I Am Happy

Last week I came to the realization that I am happy. I am proud of who I am. I am successful and I am where I am because I work hard and I deserve all of the great things that I have and that will come my way. --- The other day, I was sitting on my couch and needed to refill my water. I got up and walked to my fridge, opened up the door and grabbed my mavea filter. Filled up my nalgene and sat back on the couch to keep up with my show. When I opened the refrigerator door, I saw the pictures on my fridge and I thought to myself: I own this, I did this for myself. I also realized: I am happy. I am able to pay the bills to keep the stuff in my fridge cold (beer only - yes, I am a single dude), to keep the lights on in my house, to keep my gas tank filled, to go on trips, to pay to keep a roof over my head, to pay for my basic living and it is so liberating.  It is fulfilling to know that I worked hard and I am able to live a comfortable life. It is rewarding to know that I can work on my own, support myself and make decisions because they are good for me.